I hate to admit it but I am a softy. I am a 48 year old wuss who cannot control his emotions at times when it comes to stories of restoration, forgiveness and redemption. I tried, key word tried to watch "I can only imagine" and made it to the part where his father is dying of cancer and they are working on restoring their relationship. I had to leave and sat in my room working through a bevy of emotions most of which are anger and regret.
I never got the chance to make things right with my dad before he died. He left me with a legacy of broken relationships, disappointment and inadequacy and quite frankly I am tired of it. Tired of living with the belief of never being enough or destined to repeat the mistakes of my father and have them passed down to my own kids. Tired of living lies rather than living in freedom. These disappointments have shaped who I am and given me a heart that genuinely cares about people but it also has made me a target for Satan's accusations and temptations.
So tonight I took back some ground. My phone now lies at the bottom of a pond in my front yard as it was nothing more than a mind waste and a temptation waiting to happen. Among you there must not be a hint of immorality (Ephesians 5:3) and I am convinced the average data phone has more than a slight bit of immorality and temptation in it. So I killed it. It was a symbolic step of saying no more. No more passing on the sins of the father to the next generation. No more living as one who is destined to mess up. No more living as one defined by what has been done to him. No it is time to live based upon what has been done for me and that my friends is the hope of the cross.
